Pardon me as I bandage myself, I just can’t seem to stop gushing. The undead stars have aligned their massive necromatic balls of gas and produced for us the current best episode of zombacylpse proportions! Did you see this episode yet? No? Why not? Go watch it, sign a check in my name as finder’s fee laws dictate, and then continue reading.
Here thar be spoilers!
We are treated to a bit of dialog between Amy and An…Angelina? Andrea! Amy and Andrea are chatting about their father who taught them how to fish, hoping he is still safe in Florida. Luckily, I think they are correct in their hopeful optimism, as most people go to die in Florida anyway. The dead do not come back to life unless killed by Walkers in this universe, so the old folks probably dropped via trampling rushes at the malls or heart issues due to the shock of seeing that guy that always beat them at golf walking around with half of his face falling off like damaged wall paper.
If you ask me, the worst place to go would have been California. Based on the movies and actors that come out of that place, it has been taken over by zombies years ago. As Florida is about as far away from there that you can get from within the States, kudos to them. Mind those hurricanes.
Jim, who was that Guy With The Beard from last episode is digging graves or looking for gold, and freaking everyone out. He says he had a dream, and that people shouldn’t worry as it totally was not predicting what was going to happen later on in the episode. Shane calmly restrains him, even after Jim tries enticing Shane into a confrontation and mentioning Ed, “He Who Hath Been Reduced To Facial Hamburger” last episode. So they tie Jim up to a tree and beat him.
Well they don’t beat him, but he is stuck to a tree. Like a zombie offering, of sorts. He simmers down later, relax guiz. SETTINGS SWAP!
Glenn gets the bag with guns with Dayrle/Darrel guarding his back and Rick/T-Dog guarding another escape exit. Suddenly a mexican gang rolls up, beats up Dayrle and takes off without the guns but with Glenn in-tow, though Rambo did get a shot off into one of their keisters with his bow (no scope). Oh and Merle’s fine, took out two zombies one-handed, then cauterized the stump with a make-shift rig he threw together before jumping out of a window and into the unliving world unknown.
Slightly off topic, but Merle has this Amos Moses thing going on for him now. He has a stump (one for beating down alligators, the other for lack of a hand), both are southern, both only have one hand, and both have issues with a Sheriff…
Speaking of Rick, I noticed that he got a mighty bit testy this episode, showing a bit more bite than previous episodes while Shane was excessive with kindness (saying “Please,” reassuring Jim several times, and getting everyone back to safety and not running away as soon as excrement hit the exhaust). It is nice to see in the long run these two guys balance out and Shane is fairly well out of the “guy we hate” and “coward” rut, and Rick too is out of his “pure hero” niche as well due to these additions. Very nice tweaks to character, rounding them out a lot better while also making them both pretty cool doods. Sugar cookies to the writer and director!
Also, Amy died. So there goes the sappy actress pandering for an Emmy performance. … Until her sister freaks out about it. I get that this is a bad time for all when the undead mafia rolled into camp without an appointment, but hell, they took out Ed and several other people I have not even seen on camera before. Like that one 20ish thin chick that got mauled (not Amy, a long-haired brunette). Where in the heck was she during all of this? They weren’t even wearing red shirts.
Well, I mean, their clothing is probably drenched in crimson now…
Oh, and the gang that took Glenn turned out to be defenders of an old folks home that apparently housed predominately hispanic-based residents, based on who came back to check up on them. Wait.
Dayrle shot that one dude in the buttocks (thanks, Mr. Gump). With the same dang bolt (it’s only an arrow if shot by a bow. Crossbows fire bolts. I should make an Ad for that factoid…)
(And so I DID.)
A.D.D. setting in. My bad.
Daryle fired the same dang bolt that he has just shot like five zombies in the eye with. Unwiped. Meaning there is still undead goo either on the tip/shaft of the bolt itself, or on the business end of the firing mechanism, and that just impaled that guy’s possibly hairy hiny. (Not that I’m judging, I would completely stop my booty waxing sessions in times of dire needs of survival as well. Heck, a month into Zombieville and you could probably braid the stuff goin’ on back there…)
Based on that information (undead goo on bolt, not fur on butt) Darle just probably, accidentally, caused that one dude to get infected, die off, then turn undead from within the Hispanic Eternal Acres compound and wipe out all the survivors. Good job, Darle! You geriatricide-inducing-crossbow-wielding-hot-headed-racist-Rambo-istic-dairyqueenbbtheq-mo-fo.
He also gets a cookie.
But not oatmeal raisin, those are mine.